Let me start by saying I am not a professional author or critic. I just enjoy a good book every now and then.
Cons:
The only "con" I can think of is the mention of "Kheldran’s Syndrome". I tried to do a Google search and came up blank. If it is a real disease, you might want to choose one that has more recognition. If it is a ficticious disease, maybe a little more explanation.
Should have made John a US Army soldier instead of a Marine. :)
Pro's:
I like that the character history was short and sweet, without the fluff. Straight and to the point.
The intimate relationship between John and Allison was kept brief. Sometimes it's okay to let the imagination fill in certain things.
Overall, it sets a good foundation for future events.
My only concern right now is the introduction (albeit brief) of religion. That becomes a slippery slope if not navigated correctly.
I will continue to "stalk" this website in the hopes it is updated frequently.
Once again, my Pro's/Con's are from a fan and not a critic/writer. Take them for what they are worth.
Very interesting plot ideas! Fresh and new, it caught my attention. I enjoy the writing itself, it is very descriptive yet has a smooth flow. I can't wait for the next chapter to be released. My only suggestion would be to imbed the description of John Cross' life a bit more. Perhaps by saying something like "He wondered if he was really qualified for this. Ever since he was a child on his father's farm in Topeka, he had dreamed of this opportunity....Still, he felt the importance of the mission weighing on his shoulders." Only a suggestion, keep up the good work!
Let me start by saying I am not a professional author or critic. I just enjoy a good book every now and then.
ReplyDeleteCons:
The only "con" I can think of is the mention of "Kheldran’s Syndrome". I tried to do a Google search and came up blank. If it is a real disease, you might want to choose one that has more recognition. If it is a ficticious disease, maybe a little more explanation.
Should have made John a US Army soldier instead of a Marine. :)
Pro's:
I like that the character history was short and sweet, without the fluff. Straight and to the point.
The intimate relationship between John and Allison was kept brief. Sometimes it's okay to let the imagination fill in certain things.
Overall, it sets a good foundation for future events.
My only concern right now is the introduction (albeit brief) of religion. That becomes a slippery slope if not navigated correctly.
I will continue to "stalk" this website in the hopes it is updated frequently.
Once again, my Pro's/Con's are from a fan and not a critic/writer. Take them for what they are worth.
Very interesting plot ideas! Fresh and new, it caught my attention. I enjoy the writing itself, it is very descriptive yet has a smooth flow. I can't wait for the next chapter to be released.
ReplyDeleteMy only suggestion would be to imbed the description of John Cross' life a bit more. Perhaps by saying something like "He wondered if he was really qualified for this. Ever since he was a child on his father's farm in Topeka, he had dreamed of this opportunity....Still, he felt the importance of the mission weighing on his shoulders."
Only a suggestion, keep up the good work!